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Travel Etiquette: You Have Good Manners, Right?
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You have good manners,
right? After all, you (usually) keep your elbows off the table and say "Pleasepass the salt," right? But when you head
abroad, things get a little more complicated. Case in point: Rest your
chopsticks the wrong way, and you might remind a Japanese friend of their
grandmother's funeral (Rule 2). But knowing what the etiquette rules are won't
just save you from some awkward situations, says Dean Allen, author of the
"Global Etiquette Guide" series. It can also help you make friends.
"It's really a statement of your openness and awareness of the fact that
the people you're with ... may in fact see the world differently," he
says. "It's simply going to get you out of the tourist bubble." Sound
good? Then here are 15 rules to keep in mind.
In
Thailand, don't put food in your mouth with a fork.
Instead, when eating a
dish with cooked rice, use your fork only to push food onto your spoon. A few
exceptions: Some northern and northeastern Thai dishes are typically eaten with
the hands — you'll know you've encountered such a dish if the rice used is
glutinous or "sticky." Also, stand-alone items that are not part of a
rice-based meal may be eaten with a fork. But, says Leela Punyaratabandhu, a
food writer who blogs at SheSimmers.com , the worst thing to do at a
traditional, rice-based meal would be to use chopsticks. "That is awkward
and inconvenient at best and tacky at worst," she says.
In
Japan, never stick your chopsticks upright in your rice.
Between bites, your
chopsticks should be placed together right in front of you, parallel to the
edge of the table — and nowhere else, says Mineko Takane Moreno, Japanese
cooking instructor and co-author of "Sushi for Dummies." (If there is
a chopsticks rest, you use it, putting the tips you've been eating with on the
rest.) But sticking them upright in a bowl of rice is even worse: During
funerals in Japan, the rice bowl of the deceased is placed before their coffin
... with their chopsticks upright in the rice. So what would she rather see:
Someone doing that at a meal, or asking for a fork? Mineko doesn't hesitate.
"Asking for a fork," she says.
In
the Middle East, India and parts of Africa, don't eat with your left hand.
In South India, you
shouldn't even touch the plate with your left hand while eating. That's largely
because the left hand is associated with, um, bodily functions, so it's
considered to be dirty. In fact, says Allen, don't even pass important
documents with your left hand. A lefty? Then it's okay to use your left hand —
as long as you take your right hand out of the game.
At
a traditional feast in Georgia, it's rude to sip your wine.
At what Georgians call
a supra (traditional feast), wine is drunk only at toasts. So wait for those
... and then down the whole glass at once. On the upside, says Georgia-based
photographer and videographer Paul Stephens, the glasses tend to be on the
small side.
In
Mexico, never eat tacos with a fork and knife.
Worried about spilling
refried beans and salsa all over your front? Tough. Mexicans think that eating
tacos with a fork and knife looks silly and, worse, snobby — kind of like
eating a burger with silverware. So be polite: Eat with your hands.
In
Italy, drink a cappuccino only before noon.
Some Italians say that a
late-day cappuccino upsets your stomach, others that it's a replacement for a
meal (it's common to have just a cappuccino, or a cappuccino and a croissant,
for breakfast). Either way, you won't see Italians ordering one in a café at 3
p.m. — and certainly not after a big dinner. Do so, and you'll be instantly
branded a tourist. If you need that coffee fix, though, an espresso is fine.
In
Britain, always pass the port to the left — and remember the Bishop of Norwich.
It's unclear why passing
port on the left is so important; some say it has to do with naval tradition
(the port side of a boat is on your left if you're facing the helm). Regardless,
passing the decanter to the right is a big gaffe. So is not passing it at all.
If you're at a meal and the decanter stalls, then ask the person with it,
"Do you know the Bishop of Norwich?" If they say they don't know him,
reply, "He's a very good chap, but he always forgets to pass the
port." It sounds weird, but it's true. This is such a nationwide
tradition, the Telegraph newspaper wrote an article on it .
In
France, don't eat your bread as an appetizer before the meal.
Instead, eat it as an
accompaniment to your food or, especially, to the cheese course at the end of
the meal. That said, one thing that would be a faux pas anywhere else — placing
bread directly on the table and not on a plate — is perfectly acceptable in
France. In fact, it's preferred.
In
China, don't flip the fish.
Although you might be
used to flipping over a whole fish once you've finished one side, don't — at
least not when you're in China, especially southern China and Hong Kong. That's
because flipping the fish is dao yue in
Chinese, a phrase similar to "bad luck." Plus, says Allen, "to
flip the fish over is like saying that the fisherman's boat is going to
capsize." The most superstitious will leave the bottom part untouched,
while others will pull off the bone itself to get to the bottom.
In
Italy, don't ask for parmesan for your pizza — or any other time it's not
explicitly offered.
Putting parmigiano on pizza is seen as a sin, like putting
Jell-O on a fine chocolate mousse. And many pasta dishes in Italy aren't meant
for parmesan: In Rome, for example, the traditional cheese ispecorino, and that's what goes on many classic
pastas like bucatini all'amatriciana, not
parmesan. A rule of thumb: If they don't offer it to you, don't ask for it.
Don't
eat anything, even fries, with your hands at a meal in Chile.
Manners here are a
little more formal than many other South American countries. So while it might
be the most practical to just pick up those fries with your fingers, don't do
it. "The greater need is to identify with European culture, so food is [eaten]
with a knife and a fork," Allen says.
In
Korea, if an older person offers you a drink, lift your glass to receive it
with both hands.
Doing so is a sign of
respect for elders, an important tenet of Korean culture. After receiving the
pour with both hands, you should turn your head away and take a discreet sip,
says Stephen Cha-Kim, a Korean-born worker's rights advocate who regularly
visits family in Korea. "To this day, if anybody hands me anything, both
hands shoot out instinctively," Cha-Kim says. Similarly, don't start
eating until the eldest male has done so (and don't leave the table until that
person is finished).
Never
mix — or turn down — vodka in Russia.
The beverage is always
drunk neat — and no, not even with ice. Adding anything is seen as polluting
the drink's purity (unless the mixer is beer, which produces a formidable
beverage known as yorsh). But there's another faux
pas that's even worse, says Allen: when you're offered the drink and you turn
it down. Since offering someone a drink is a sign of trust and friendship, it's
a good idea to take it. Even if it is 9 a.m.
When
drinking coffee with Bedouins in the Middle East, shake the cup at the end.
Typically, anyone
Bedouin — or Bedouin-related — will continue to pour you more coffee once you've
finished unless you shake the cup, meaning tilting the cup two or three times,
when you hand it back. It's such an important tip, says Middle East-based
freelance correspondent Haley Sweetland Edwards, that last year, Bedouins she
was eating with in Qatar made her practice it until she got it right.
In
Brazil, play your tokens wisely.
At a churrascaria, or a Brazilian steakhouse, servers
circle with cuts of meat and diners use tokens to place an order. If a server
comes out with something you want, make sure your token, which you'll have at
your table, has the green side up. If you don't want any more, flip it with the
red side up. Since the meat can be never-ending, it's important to strategize —
if you leave that token green side up you could end up ordering a lot more than
you intended.
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